When I get older, I realize that I am a typical person who likes to be alone when I am really angry - and I don't like to see people lose themselves when they are angry. There was a time when a member of my family got angry and started to throw things in front of me. I have lost my respect for her ever since. As time passed by, I became aware that this was my issue with self-control. I do respect people with good self-control when they are angry.

Why self-control matters?

Controlling ourselves from being selfish and avoiding stereotypes is hard work for our brains. It drains our energy and focus. We won't be able to multitask when we have to make a decision that requires self-control. My target for myself this year is to be a person who is capable of controlling herself in any kind of situation - and working with so many multi-disciplinary people and clients helps me a lot at the moment. A best friend who had known me since 2011, when I joined Greenpeace, always recognized me as an angry, spirited woman. He said in our chat last night that I changed a lot - I think that is mostly after I started to work with people from IT in 2014 and biology in 2016. Working with various people definitely has a huge impact on how we try to think of different ways to communicate with them, and it requires a good command of self-control.

Speaking of self-control and greed, I love crime dramas and documentary shows. It taught me that crime always starts from a human loses their self-control, letting greed and anger take place, resulting in a very bad thing - even an unintentional homicide. Loving someone will never be the right justification to kill them when they cheat, being lonely will never be the right justification to go into prostitution, being angry will never be the right justification to say painful things to other people, being suffering will never be a right justification to hurt other people, and being hurt will never be a right justification to cheat on someone.

If we think from an environmental perspective, greed is a big deal. As Garrett Hardin wrote in his 1968 essay, it is natural for us to maximize our domination over resources, and when everyone thinks the same, nothing is left. He offers some ideas as solutions, but I personally think it starts with self-control.

When we have a beautiful flower in our hand - what is a justification for having another one?
Either we are not being grateful, tempted by the beauty of that other flower, or the old flower is started to rot. But for me, all those reasons are just a justification for our greediness.

One flower is enough.
It is our job to nurture it so it will bloom and give birth to another flower.


Avigliano Umbro,
September 18th, 2018